Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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