he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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