So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
