the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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