Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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