Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize