Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
