Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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