That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
