Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
