Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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