birth control should be required to get into college
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
