yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
