respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
