Have some text gold?

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  • Haha, heeey.. me too.

    Submitted by CNoirctonleey18 on Sep 10, 11 at 1:03am
  • Sounds like you just had crappy parents. Nothing I'd consider "success".

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 11:24am
  • Coz that makes u cool?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 7:48pm
  • I'm going to kill myself. Alright, bye!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 9:34am
  • 12:13 is fucking cool will someone give him a medal please?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 1:07pm
  • wasted by the time i was 2, fell in the flowers and passed out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 11:10am
  • Yeah that's healthy. GO YOU!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 1:05am
  • I got drunk when I was five. I took my dads half full beer bottle and drank it. I passed out. On the floor. And was laughed at. I havnt changed a bit(;

    Submitted by Kender on Apr 5, 10 at 8:57am
  • 11months old was my first time-I boogied till I puked

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 3:08am
  • why is having down syndrome so fucking funny? I don't find it humorous at all.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 9:46am
  • Actually, I win. First got drunk when I was 3 when my sister was having a party at our house when my parents were outta town.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 3:46pm
  • 2:04 your mother left you home when you were 3 weeks old?? Great parenting, makes me want to believe that your story isn't as full of shit as you are

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 2:07am
  • Future alcoholismmmmmmmmmmmmm

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 12:01pm
  • I was three my parents game me chocolate cake that had liquor in it but they didn't know. I passed out on the way to the hotel room :)

    Submitted by imthatchick44 on Jun 26, 11 at 12:47pm
  • how do u know its bako, it could be santa clarita, or lancaster, or Frazier mountain

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 1:44pm
  • In Soviet Russia, fetuses get drunk.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 9:38am
  • I beat all of you - I was 3 weeks old. My mom went on a week long cruise and drank a lot and accidentally breast fed me when she came home. You're all pussies.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 2:04am
  • Bakersfield. Utter fail.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 1:41pm
  • i was 2, thats what happens when you eat fruit out of a scorpion bowl

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 11:04am
  • some parents you have.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 5:30pm
  • mee 2! except i was 3 when it happened. we were at a baby shower and my mom kept filling my sippy cup up with rum punch, but she thought it was fruit punch. and she wasn't drinking it b/c she hates punch. and after about my ninth cup full she saw me passed out on the floor and rushed me to the ER. i wish i could remember it. pahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 1:16am
  • I was 2. They took me to a neighbors party. I walked around and drank all the beers that were unattended. I did that thing where you walk in a circle and lean over and passed out. Woke up with a wicked hangover and from then on i called it "yucky beer"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 5:20pm
  • Success? He needs a life xD

    Submitted by boredthisisgay on Apr 22, 11 at 9:23am
  • fake fake fake n fake...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 2:17am
  • 1:16 I say BULLSHIT. No mother would give a 3 year old 9 cups of anything. You couldn't have been that thirsty. I don't know who's the bigger moron, you for thinking people would believe that or your parents for having you...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 1:33am
  • Get this dumbass of here

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 9:36am
  • Your parents are losers. Your mom needs to be raped and your dad needs to contract hepatitis. To bad they didn't kill you with thier stupidity then I wouldn't be reading your lame text. Did I mention you and your parents are stupid?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 11:31am
  • Lick my clit I was 2 when my parents put rum in my bottle

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 9:32am
  • 2:16 pretty sure a mother wouldn't leave her child at only 3 weeks old. Hell yeah a father can care for a child, but moms and babies have that bond.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 2:23am
  • This is 2:04... You know such people called FATHERS exist, right? She went with her friends, I was with my dad and so siblings. Pretty sure those are capable protectors.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 2:16am
  • Haha Your mom got raped hahahahahahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 10:51pm
  • @1:55 she said "sippy cups" and they don't make sippy cups that small. Any 3 year old would be pissing their brains out and cranky as hell after 9 cups

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 2:02am
  • Dude I'm 14 in 2 weeks and I'm hungover right now :P

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 12:13pm
  • when i was three i wandered around one of my parents house parties drinking what was left in the bottom of the cups, usually whiskey

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:51am
  • That's nothing, I got my kid drunk when she was about 2 months old. Maybe I should have waited longer before nursing her.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 10, 10 at 5:36pm
  • about 3. drank champagne from a table at a family party

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 8:31pm
  • 2:43 ohhh boyyy, got a cliffhanger on our hands cuz some fucktard doesn't know how to use their keyboard

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 2:52am
  • @ 1: 33 am, what if they were Dixie cups? Or something small like that. And OP, they say your brain stops developing after youdtart drinking lmao. You have a mindset of a 4 year old

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 1:55am
  • Haha sounds like my life!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 5, 10 at 10:54am
  • Skhvoucjudvhudvufsdvoixc!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 9:36am