totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
