Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
