I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If that was your dad, he is hot
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize