After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
