GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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