p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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