Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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