I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she peed on how many people?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize