I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize