called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
