NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Welp...herpes.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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