So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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