Sponge bath it is.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
