Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
your room smells of hookers.
And success
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize