I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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