Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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