I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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