chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
