I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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