dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Say something about gay babies.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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