This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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