Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They took my balls.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
