I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
