man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
