So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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