oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
