Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
