He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just cropdusted the office
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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