I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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