im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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