Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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