thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
