Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You're like the curious george of whores
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Randomize
