TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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