So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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