I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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