So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
