remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
