So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
