Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
