i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
