He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
