I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
