Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
