What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
