i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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