you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
