No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone