Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.