I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
