Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.