You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
