Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
