Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
