Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
