I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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