Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
